Please Forgive Me
by Zedekiel
Summary: This is just a simple one-shot with lyrics, the song is by David Gray. This fic is my late-night response to all those gross, offensively and bruitally over sexual Edward/Bella fanfics out there. You'd better darn well cry. /death glare


Disclaimer: I do not own either Edward or Bella, they are both the products of Stephenie Meyer's lovely and talented mind. This is just a quick little one shot that popped into my head one night after I grew increasingly weary of all the terrible, meaningless and overly sexual fanfiction out there about these two. Cry, Darn you, Cry!! D

Edward/Bells -  
One Shot Fic.  
Please Forgive Me – David Gray

_Please forgive me if I act a little strange,  
For I know not what I do  
Feels like lightning running through my veins  
Every time I look at youEvery time I look at you_

Edward's forehead rested against Isabella's, and his warm eyes were closed, long bronze eyelashes brushing his cheeks.  
"Bella..." He whispered, a sound barely audible to human ears, but she heard it. She was so attuned to the sound, the vibration that his voice created in the air; she simply knew she'd never really be able to ignore him. It was a sound she treasured above all things, and a sound she would run to no matter what. She heard his tenderness, all his sincerity, all his love. She didn't speak, and neither did he. Nothing needed to be said. He wrapped his arms around her oh-so fragile body, pulling her protectively to his chest, a silent gesture that said everything.

_Help me __out here, all my words have fallen short,  
__and there's so much I want to say  
__Want to tell you just how good it feels,  
__When you look at me that way, Ah,  
__When you look at me that way_

Reflexively, she tightened her own arms around his marble figure, burying her face in his shoulder. This was all wrong.  
"I love you." She said softly, tasting her anxiety in her mouth, bitter and unwelcome. It was the most pure and true thing she'd ever said. Her heart fluttered around in her chest like a frightened bird.  
"Don't go." She begged, her voice betraying the vulnerability she felt. She didn't want him to do this. She would rather go herself, anything to prevent this ridiculous atrocity. She would do anything, **anything**, if it meant he wouldn't do this.  
"Don't look at me like that, Isabella." He said, his voice thick around the commanding tone. His pale face was marred by his frown, and the severity of his eyes made her wince. "This is for YOU. I will always be here." He said, and his expression softened as he sank to his knees, pleading with his eyes for her to understand. He pressed his face against her stomach, gazing blankly off into the dark and comfortless trees, his stomach clenching into a tight knot while he listened to her erratic heartbeat.

_Throw a stone and watch the ripples flow  
__Moving out across the bay__Like a stone I fall into your eyes,  
__Deep into that mystery,  
__Deep into some mystery_

He would cry, right now, if he could. He stood, holding her face with both his hands. If only he could convey to her that his devotion was eternal, _no matter what_. He gazed intently into her eyes, searching them. He saw her fear, her worry, and underneath all that he saw what he'd always know. He saw that she would die for him, just like he would for her. And he would, for her. If he had a heart, he would swear it was constricting like a wild thing, trying to crawl out from between his ribs and be free of what he knew was coming.  
"Oh, Bella..." He whispered, biting the inside of his cheek to smother the rush of pain he felt as thoughts of her being alone and unprotected in this world ran through his mind. His face hardened as his determination set in. She would be fine. Charlie and Jacob would look after her. His fingers slid gently over her cheeks, her lips, her eyes and her nose, down her neck, memorizing the texture and the warmth of her skin. His topaz eyes seemed to melt as he watched her respond to his touch. He watched her eyelids flutter, watched the soft flush coloring her pale cheeks. He loved her desperately. It was such a fierce feeling; he would almost liken it to physical pain.  
"I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you." He crooned into her ear, pressing his lips against her temple, gathering her to him. Greedily, he inhaled the innocent scent that clung to her simple hair. Simple hair that to him was the most exquisite he'd ever been fortunate enough to see. His arms constricted, and a strangled sob fought its way past his lips.

_I've got half a mile to scream out loud  
__I've got half a mile to die  
__So I won't ever have to lose you , girl,  
__Won't ever have to say goodbye  
__I won't ever have to lie,  
__Won't ever have to say goodbye_

Bella startled, and felt everything in her shatter when her brain registered what her ears had heard.  
"No, no, Oh..." She muttered, her hands running helplessly through his hair."Edward, no," she groaned softly, grimacing, holding him through his anguish. She had never heard him like this, and it terrified her. She'd seen him upset, she'd seen him and heard him sob when he thought he'd lost her, but this was different. There was a finality to this that scared her more than anything she'd ever experienced. She felt her stomach twisting sickeningly, her insides felt all wrong, but that was utterly insignificant in comparison to her angel's pain, her alabaster prince's tearless mourning. His shoulders were shaking, and he gasped raggedly for breath even though he didn't actually need any. Part of Bella marvelled at how distinctly human this response was, regardless of his tearless eyes. For Edward, there was only pain and fear. Like all beings capable of free thought, he was afraid to die. But, for her...Oh, for Bella, he would die. Shakily, he returned his hands to the side of her face, and looked longingly into her soft, safe eyes. Eyes that he wanted to see forever.  
"I have to go now, dearest." He croaked, his wording careful and simple, as though he were speaking to a child he would see later that evening who didn't understand why he had to go. She opened her mouth to protest with panic in her eyes, and he cut her off.  
"Please, Bella. Please. It is imperative that you live. For me." She stopped short, her eyes wild as she started to grasp and almost accept what he was saying. 'Accept', he thought, was the wrong word. Realizing was better. He watched her body respond to her realization, and pressed his lips together to keep from crying out at the dreadful guilt that washed over him.  
Her legs began to shake, and her lower lip trembled. Her eyes filled but didn't spill over, and her breathing quickened. He could hear her heart slamming violently inside her chest without putting his ear near it.  
"I beg you not to give up." He said thickly, his hands rubbing her arms in response to the goose bumps that sprinkled her skin while his usually exotically beautiful features were twisted by the hate he felt for himself, for being the reason she felt like she did.  
"Don't." She whispered, felling like a ghost who might blow away in the wind. How strange, she thought. Three seconds ago, she'd been tumbling over the edge to hysteria, and suddenly she felt nothing. It was as though instead of falling to her death from a cliff, she'd landed on a ledge only a few feet from the precipice, a ledge of refusal and denial. Edward nodded.  
"Live for me, Bella. I'll never really leave you." He said wretchedly, slipping his right hand around to the back of her head, caressing and tangling his fingers in her hair, revelling in the feeling of the soft strands tickling his skin. "I need you to live for me."

_Please forgive me if I act a little strange  
__For I know not what I do  
__Feels like lightning running through my veins  
__Every time I look at you__Every time I look at you_

He kissed her then, the most intimate kiss they'd ever share. His lips were gentle against hers, but the emotion in the way he held her, the meaning in his taste, the softness mingling with his desperation and fear and need for her to be okay were enough to knock her legs from under her, knock the breath right from her lungs. She felt her eyes spill over, tears dripping down her cheeks in silent rivulets. Her eyes closed, an expression of ecstasy and an unwillingness to let him go creasing her brow. He kissed her with everything he had, trying to tell her in the language of lips and tongues and gentleness how he was eternally hers, how he belonged to her even through this, trying to explain with his arms how he would never part from her. He broke away, dizzy from the slow movements, intoxicated by their mingling and contradictory hope and hopelessness. Lord, how he loved her.  
"You have given my life meaning, Bella." He informed her. "_Isabella_...You have given _me _meaning, you have given me more than I deserve, more than you can possibly know. You have given me my dreams, cupped in these beautiful hands," he said, her name like liquid perfection on his tongue, kissing the tips of her fingers and each of her palms. The sincerity in his eyes made it impossible for her to argue.  
"No," Was all she could choke out, the sound was pathetic and helpless, and she sobbed, her face contorted by her breakdown.  
"You are so lovely." He whispered tenderly, everything in him crying out to prevent this ultimate hurt, protect her from the storm that was inside her. Touching her face, he wiped her tears gently with his thumbs. "I love you more than anything." He said, the conviction and truth and dejection evident in his voice, and he seemed to be asking for her forgiveness.  
"Live." He whispered, his eyes begging her to promise. She could feel it, her face constricting with pain. She knew she couldn't deny him. He knew it, too, and backed away slowly into the surrounding forest. His eyes never left hers, the intensity of his gaze making her kneecaps quiver, until she couldn't see him anymore. Moments after he disappeared from her vision, she heard something like a far-away avalanche, granite against granite, and a distant yet somehow terrifyingly victorious snarl. Then, silence.

_Every time I look at you..._

She sank to her knees, sitting on the cold ground, staring blankly at the spot where she'd lost sight of him. Seconds ticked by, and she had never heard such a silence from the leafy darkness, such soundless mourning from the trees, from the dirt beneath her.

_Every time I look at you..._

The cold snuck into her body, chilling her bones, biting at her skin. Slowly her expression changed, her features distorting as she barely grasped what had happened. It sunk in, like a heavy stone finding its way to the very deepest part of the ocean. Her legs turned liquid with panic, and she forgot her lungs existed. He had to come back. He hadn't been serious. Surely, any moment, he would stumble through the trees, safe. He couldn't have...He had, she realized. He'd gone, for her. He'd gone to ensure her safety, and she'd never felt so unworthy. Her soul crumbled like the pages of an ancient book, and she slumped sideways, her eyes blank with denial. She closed her eyes to hide them from the darkness, and she didn't know how long she'd been laying there, a sore on the earth's surface. A gentle breeze stirred, caressing her face. It felt so like his fingers tracing the tearstains on her cheeks that she opened her eyes eagerly, hopefully, and in the next instant was plunged back into desolation.There was nothing but darkness. There would never be anything more, for her only light had been snuffed out. Her only guiding light had been taken away, to somewhere she couldn't go. She couldn't even see the stars as she stared blankly into the night. She would wait for starvation or a hunting beast to make it possible for her to return to him. She closed her eyes and waiting for death, and the breeze caressed her skin.  
_"Live..."_It seemed to whisper, the sound like fingers brushing the hand of a loved one. She sat up, her hair a tangle of twigs and leaves_. Live_. She stood, stumbling as she did so, watching the world spin around her. A hollow sob escaped her dry throat, shattering the empty silence, a silence full of broken promises. Her pain tore its way from her, telling the sky what had happened. Empty of everything she'd ever believed in, she turned and staggered away, the breeze following her, whirling around her warmly, lifting her hair and tugging at her hands.  
"I love you..." she whispered, lifting her arms, letting the gentle wind warp around her. Her hair stuck to her damp face. She fell a lot, and her hands bled and her knee barely ached, but she found that the physical pain was numbed immediately by what had happened to her heart. She was surprised when she tripped into Charlie's yard, and felt a vague relief that she would soon be able to hide from the watchful world around her. The world that knew what she would never admit. She dragged herself across the grassy expanse, and made it as far as the cruiser in the driveway. She collapsed, laying on her side near the front bumper. All the lights were on in the house. They would find her eventually. She may be hypothermic, but she would live, and that was all that mattered to her. Here, away from the darkness, she spotted a handful of glimmering stars. The concrete of the driveway bit into her skin, and she'd never believe in anything except him.


End file.
